In his first political opinion ever, Michael Longfellow supplied a last plea to save lots of TikTok after the app formally went darkish earlier right now.
Becoming a member of “Weekend Replace” co-host Michael Che, the featured participant’s tight, 3-minute look highlighted all the explanations the U.S. authorities ought to wish to preserve the social media platform out there for its residents.
Responding to Che’s assertion that there have been authentic causes to place a moratorium on the app, Longfellow hit again: “Like what? As a result of it’s Chinese language? So we’re simply banning issues as a result of they’re from China now? You already know who else was from China? [pointing upward toward the sky] That’s proper, Jesus Christ. I believed he was Center Japanese, however I noticed it on a TikTok: Chinese language!”
What about considerations for information privateness? “Who cares about my information? Oh no, China is aware of I like thick Latinas. Who doesn’t? Give me a break,” he quipped in his signature deadpan supply.
And the mind rot? “I’ve no consideration span. I’ve ADHD. I’ll always remember being identified. It was final yr. I took a TikTok quiz, and the third time I took it, it mentioned I may need ADHD,” he mentioned, including that the app prescribed him Adderall.
In a second of futility, Longfellow lamented he can’t recall his life pre-TikTok: “I do know I lived a life earlier than TikTok — I should have. However that boy is lifeless. He’s lifeless and he’s by no means coming again. With out TikTok, I don’t know something anymore. What do I do at work? What do I even watch throughout a film?”
What concerning the film itself? “However throughout, Che,” Longfellow mentioned, “after I get bored for like a number of seconds? I’m shifting to China.”
Additionally featured on a section this week was Sarah Sherman in heavy prosthetics and with an exaggerated Transylvanian accent as the unique Nosferatu, commenting on Robert Eggers’ new take. The featured participant acted alongside co-host Colin Jost, giving audiences a well-known dose of the duo’s signature flirtatious banter and digs on the latter’s made-up cocaine utilization and chauvinism.
“I believed [the adaptation] sucked!” she mentioned, posing and quivering her spindly talons because the shot transitioned to a black-and-white filter and performed discordant piano chords. (One among a number of Nosferatu-isms à la SpongeBob SquarePants.)
Among the many complaints: “How did he get so swole? Vampires solely do one sit-up a day and it’s like this,” she mentioned, crossing her arms throughout her chest and pantomiming slowly rising out of a coffin.
See the segments beneath:
