Texas couple Kenya and Carl Stevens had been married for a dozen years, when he confessed to his spouse that he had emotions for a co-worker.
However somewhat than being offended together with her husband, Kenya proposed they exit for dinner as a trio.
“My husband wished a number of wives. He really talked to me about this earlier than we bought married, and I laughed, like, ‘No matter!’ I used to be open to the thought, but when he has the privilege, I might completely need the identical privilege, which is simply truthful,” Kenya, 48, instructed The Submit.
They determined to see a wedding counselor, who instructed Kenya and Carl to remain monogamous, work on their relationship and “simply overlook about it” after they seen different folks.
“And we didn’t wish to try this anymore,” Kenya mentioned.
They determined to grow to be non-monogamous and now their marriage additionally consists of Kenya’s different husband, Tiger.
Their unconventional household is likely one of the topics of the brand new TLC reality series “Looking for Brother Husband.” Premiering March 26 at 10 p.m., the present follows a wide range of {couples} through which the lady is both courting different males — together with her husband’s information and blessing — or, in Stevens’ case, has bought two “brother husbands,” primarily a gender-flipped model of “Sister Wives.” (Although a lot of the guys are additionally courting, the present focuses on the ladies.)
Married for 26 years, Kenya and Carl, 52, are each Houston entrepreneurs and authors who preach about their way of life as a part of their Progressive Love Academy. Whereas Kenya’s solely legally wed to Carl, she’s been “married” to her second husband, Tiger Moonstone, 40, an investor, for a decade.
After a long time sharing the identical mattress, Kenya mentioned she and her first husband had been “not all in favour of sharing a bed room any longer.” And so Carl has his personal room of their home, whereas Kenya shares hers with Tiger.
Carl and Tiger additionally date different girls — however amongst their trio, Kenya is the one one who has a number of live-in companions whom she considers spouses.
And he or she instructed The Submit she’s open to including extra.
“What is just too many?” she mentioned. “We like group. We don’t consider that the nuclear household is sustainable, and we predict group is extra sustainable than a nuclear household.”
Whereas they’ve guidelines about the right way to navigate jealousy — Kenya wouldn’t go into element for concern of unveiling “spoilers” — she mentioned her two “brother husbands” have a great relationship with one another.
“I feel they turned so shut as a result of each time I had a problem with Tiger, I might have Carl speak to him,” she mentioned.
“So, he turned like an enormous brother. [Tiger] began out as a foreigner, any individual who’s new to this household. However my different husband, Carl, turned his confidante — any individual who had expertise coping with me.”
When Kenya and Carl first determined to open up their marriage, they sat down with their three children, who had been teenagers on the time, and shared the information.
“Most of their associates’ dad and mom are divorced,” mentioned Kenya. “So my kids had been excited that we nonetheless love one another and weren’t coming to have the divorce speak, like nearly all of their different associates. They’d questions — they puzzled how wouldn’t it work, would they’ve one other father? These sorts of logistical questions. However total, there was pleasure, as a result of they’ve a group to boost them, as an alternative of two very drained dad and mom.”
There have been different studying curves alongside the way in which, Kenya mentioned.
“We needed to clarify to Tiger’s ex-wife why his son ought to keep in a home with a married girl and her husband, and what that was like. I needed to befriend his ex-wife and actually clarify the logistics of polyamory to them. That took years. At the moment, everybody is absolutely nice collectively.
“Once you’re an ex-wife, you continue to love your husband. I made it clear that they might nonetheless love one another [whether platonically or romantically] — that may be fantastic! She’s a great pal of ours, now. There are a number of relationships concerned in our marriage.”
As for naysayers, she mentioned she counters them with statistics.
“We’ve had folks going, ‘Why are you doing this? That is improper,’ ” she mentioned. “We ask them, ‘Have you ever checked out the divorce rate? It’s 55%. Have you ever regarded on the cheating rate? It’s 66% within the US and 75% within the UK. Forty p.c of {couples} at the moment married are sexless.’ So, we direct them again to the stats, and ask, ‘Have we beat the stats?’ And the reply is sure.”
Elisa Alpizar, 32, an LA bridal stylist who can also be featured on “Looking for Brother Husband,” has only one hubby, mechanical engineer Mike Onorato. However with Onorato’s blessing, she’s courting different males, too. She and Onorato, 35, had been monogamous originally of their eight-year relationship, till she cheated on him two and a half years in.
When she anxiously confessed, she assumed they’d break up.
“This was the primary time I had ever cheated on a associate, however it wasn’t the primary time I had skilled having emotions for any individual else whereas being in love with a associate,” she mentioned.
“And I used to be at all times confused, as a result of I used to be at all times like, ‘If I actually love my boyfriend, why am I feeling this manner about any individual else?’ Once I defined that to Mike, he was like, ‘It sounds such as you need to have the ability to see a number of folks, and be in love with a number of folks at one time.’ ”
The couple determined to remain collectively and grow to be non-monogamous. However they nonetheless took two years to speak it by means of, do analysis and “work on our basis” earlier than courting different folks, she mentioned.
“I had met individuals who had been like, ‘I’m in an open relationship.’ However for essentially the most half, it was guys, and infrequently it appeared like they weren’t being totally sincere. So, my preliminary notion of any form of state of affairs with a number of relationships was not good,” she mentioned.
However after her husband Mike floated the thought of courting different folks whereas staying married to one another, “I began doing analysis, and I noticed, ‘Oh wow, this can be a very viable possibility.’ ”
Surprisingly, her family and friends reacted to the information positively.
“My associates are all like, ‘Do no matter makes you cheerful — so long as all people is blissful, that’s all that issues.’
“My dad and mom had been really very supportive. My dad likes to joke, ‘This isn’t a brand new factor — again within the ’70s, folks had been doing this on a regular basis!’ ”
