“Good day, and welcome to the primary — the second — the primary 2024 presidential debate.” [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] “Each-sides-ism is now cringe.” “And that’s OK.” Gloom is now boring. “Nihilism is now cringe and boring.” “I don’t care.” “Tonight, all the things is recent and new. Frankly, it’s so thrilling, it’s a little bit unsettling.” “I couldn’t care much less.” “Now, to maintain issues recent, [SINGING] let’s do it on this key. Wages have been going up, however costs acquired uncontrolled. Now, how can a median lady afford a pleasant bag of pizza rolls?” “Economists have mentioned that Trump gross sales tax would end in $4,000 extra a 12 months on the backs of the center class.” [SINGING] “OK.” “The one jobs they acquired had been bounce-back jobs. Bounce, bounce, again, again. She’s going to my philosophy. I used to be going to ship her a MAGA hat.” [SINGING] “You wouldn’t comprehend it from the information, however immigrants have a decrease crime price. So can we discuss border coverage in a nonracist approach?” “They’re consuming the canines. They’re consuming the cats. Coming in from all around the world from insane asylums. They’re consuming the pets.” “Congress got here up with the border invoice. I supported it. Would have put brokers on the border to stem the move of fentanyl. Donald Trump mentioned: Kill the invoice. He misplaced manufacturing jobs.” “They threw him out of a marketing campaign like a canine.” “You’re not operating in opposition to Joe Biden. You’re operating in opposition to me.” [SINGING] “Who would you be …” “I might be a president that can shield rights.” [SINGING] “should you had been within the West Wing?” “We now have a nation in decline.” [SINGING] “Would you be truthful? Would you be powerful and uphold the Structure and stuff? Who would you be?” “I used to be going to ship her a MAGA hat.” “We’re not going again.” [SINGING] “What would you do …” “My pledge to you that I went with you first.” [SINGING] “if we vote for you?” “She was in a sorority occasion.” [SINGING] “From Day 1 via 2028, and make it fast earlier than the business break we acquired to get to.” “We’re losing time.” “Cease with the continual mendacity.” “They’re consuming the canines. They’re consuming the cats.” “One that’s centered on the longer term and the opposite on the previous.” “They’re consuming the canines. I learn that she was Black. I’ll say that.” “Let’s not return. We’re not going again.” “Very thought frightening. We’ll be proper again.” Juice Burger. America has a selection. Select to purchase burger. Pay cash, you eat burger. Allegations unproven. Lack of burger is root of all struggling. Democracy is burger. Juice Burger. “Juice Burger. America chooses style each time. And now for the halftime juicy zinger replay dropped at you by Juice Burger.” “Weak and silly. You’re a shame.” [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] [SINGING] “The overseas coverage win is to have loads of buddies, however might you workforce up in opposition to our enemies as a result of they preserve making an attempt to start out [EXPLETIVE] many times?” “As America at all times ought to, we glance out for our buddies. And our allies are so grateful you might be not president.” [SINGING] “Your flip.” “We’re not going to guard you should you don’t pay.” “Dictators manipulate you with flattery.” [SINGING] “Will you settle for the outcomes should you don’t occur to win? Or will you be whining and crying and making an attempt to throw out the votes once more?” “Look. There’s a lot proof. They need to have despatched it again. “The president of the USA incited a violent mob to assault. “A nation in decline. Our elections are unhealthy.” Donald Trump was fired. He’s having a tough time processing that.” [SINGING] “Most Individuals do consider in a girl’s proper to decide on. Ought to we take heed to them or Amy Coney Barrett and 5 previous dudes?” “Execution after delivery — Democrats are radical. You realize what it jogs my memory of? Scholar loans.” “What you might be placing girls via is unconscionable. I completely assist reinstating parole.” [SINGING] “We lastly put a cap on the insulin worth. May you please try this for all the things else, as a result of we’re simply making an attempt to remain alive?” “Well being care must be a proper. Keep in mind when insurance coverage might deny? We halved the price of insulin. Donald Trump by no means did.” [SINGING] “All proper.” “We’re taking a look at completely different plans. I’ve ideas of a plan. There are ideas and choices we’ve got if we are able to provide you with a plan.” “He misplaced manufacturing jobs.” “They threw him out of a marketing campaign like a canine.” [SINGING] “Who would you be …” “I might be a president that can shield rights.” [SINGING] “should you had been within the West Wing?” “We now have a nation in decline.” [SINGING] “Would you be truthful? Would you be powerful? And uphold the Structure and stuff? Who would you be?” “I used to be going to ship her a MAGA hat.” “We’re not going again.” [SINGING] “What would you do …” “I pledge to you that I’ll put you first.” [SINGING] “if we vote for you?” “She was in a sorority occasion of hers.” [SINGING] “From Day 1 via 2028, and make it fast earlier than the business break we acquired to get to.” “We’re losing of time.” “Cease with the continual mendacity.” [SINGING] “Inform me, who would you be?” “They’re consuming the canines.” [SINGING] “Inform me, who would you be?” “They’re consuming the cats.” [SINGING] “Inform me, inform me, [VOCALIZING] inform me, ’trigger I acquired to know. Who would you be? Inform me, who you be?” “Consuming the canines.” [SINGING] “Inform me, who would you be?” “They’re consuming the cats.” [SINGING] “Inform me, who would you be?” “One that’s centered on the longer term and the opposite on the previous.”
